By Julie A. Klein
U.S. Census Bureau statistics for 2003 indicate that in New York City there were some 130,163 grandparents responsible for taking care of their grandchildren. In Queens County alone, data suggests there are 16,841 grandparents being put to the task.
The reasons for these numbers are as varied as the grandparents. Some of their children may have substance abuse problems and are either unable or unwilling to take care of their children. Others may be incarcerated, ill, or possibly, dead. Some may be abusive or neglectful, while others may not be mentally or financially able to support a child.
Fortunately for grandparents raising their grandchildren, there are many organizations with resources readily available.
The Grandparent Resource Center of the New York City Department for the Aging is one such entity. Rolanda Pyle, director of the center, identified four prevalent issues concerning grandparents who access the center's resources: “They have questions concerning their legal status as caretaker of these kids (e.g., kinship, foster care and adoption issues); questions regarding entitlements from the government for financial support. They are also seeking emotional support, help with family issues. Housing can be a big problem, especially if they are living in a senior facility at the time the grandchild comes along.”
Pyle said there are numerous support groups throughout Queens for grandparents raising their grandchildren. For instance, Catholic Charities, in Hollis, holds monthly support group meetings. Ann Kehoe, a social worker and facilitator of the group, identifies financial difficulties as the grandparents' biggest concern.
“Because they were not planning to take in their grandchildren, they are typically not prepared financially for the responsibility,” Kehoe said. Despite this predicament, she described the grandparents who attend her meetings as, “special people who don't complain; they have a noble sense of duty to their families.”
One grandmother who attends Kehoe's meetings is Valerie Darby, of Hollis. She is retired and has been raising each of her daughter's three children, ages 15, 12 and 10, since birth.
Darby explains, “I did not want to see (the children) put into the system, so I took them in.” She says it is “enjoyable, but hard; a job I have to do. I was even P.T.A. president at my grandchild's school.” As far as she is concerned, “education is No. 1 on my agenda for these kids.” Darby attends the support group meetings because, as she says, “it is helpful to talk to others and hear that other families are going through the same thing. It is reassuring.”
Diane Jones, of Fresh Meadows, is a great grandmother who not only raised her grandchildren, but is currently raising two of her great grandchildren, ages 5 and 6. Jones says that “I definitely need the support group meetings; it helps me realize that I am not alone.” She also describes the meetings as “very resourceful, especially when you have questions. They find out the answers for you.” Jones paraphrased a statement by the former first lady Hillary Clinton by saying, “it does take a village to raise a child, especially when you reach a certain age.”
Mary Covington is a support group facilitator for G.E.A.R., Grandparents Empowered Active Response, housed at the Calvary Baptist Church in Jamaica. She is a non-salaried, former assistant principal, who describes her current work as “a labor of love.” The two biggest issues concerning the grandparents attending her meetings are housing and whether or not to adopt the children.
She describes the support group as “a respite where members can get away from their problems for a couple of hours and realize that they are not alone.” Covington also cites the educational benefits. “We have speakers on topics relevant to their predicament,” she says, “namely, various legal rights of the grandparents: rights to government benefits, rights to access school records and medication information, among many other topics.”
Covington spends a lot of her time trying to inform grandparents of these resources. She mails and distributes GEAR informational pamphlets to schools, community members and churches. “We would like for grandparents in the community to take advantage of the services offered,” she says.
Reach contributing writer Julie A. Klein via e-mail at feedback@timesledger.com.
