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Holiday guests coming? Don’t worry, it’s easy

By Muriel Lilker

* Don't expect a tablecloth to emerge wrinkle-free from wherever it was pushed under all the other linen. Tablecloths have nothing else to do in captivity except to develop creases, so be sure you have an iron handy. And watch out for stains, too. Uh-oh – That stain wasn't there before. Quick! Get that big casserole dish that's too heavy to move once it's in place. Then plunk it down right over the stain. And relax.

* Make sure the extra dining chairs are dusted. If you were down in the basement all year, you might need a few flicks with a dust cloth too.

* Don't worry that they'll criticize your cooking. Your guests' appreciation level rises in direct proportion to their own need to do absolutely nothing but eat. Their whole scale of values will be tipped in your favor as they happily devour whatever they didn't have to prepare themselves. And when they praise you, don't tell them what came from a mix – just enjoy the compliment.

* If you couldn't get out of inviting vegetarians, just smile and pass them more of the mashed potatoes and rolls. Anyone who prefers tofu to a lovely lamb chop shouldn't expect extra attention from an already busy hostess. So don't feel guilty about not having a meatless main dish. And don't ask them how they're doing.

* A soup course is definitely not mandatory. Just because you have those charming little bowls you never use doesn't mean you have to fill them with some soup you're not sure you know how to make. Idea! Fill the bowls with tepid water. When was the last time you were given a finger bowl at someone's home? They'll be talking about this for months.

* Don't experiment with new recipes. They knew you weren't Julia Child when they accepted your invitation. All they want from you is something they can recognize. If you must try something “different,” spring it on members of your immediate family who can say “She's at it again” before they toss it out untasted. Which brings us to the next tip…

* Don't be concerned with repeating yourself. Any time at least three people tell you something is “pretty good,” stick with it. Don't worry that others may refer to you privately as “pot roast Paula.” That's better than their asking, “Do we know anyone else who's already eaten this?”

* Don't prepare so many dishes that you might forget to serve some. Once that double Dutch chocolate cake is on the table, your guests couldn't care less if you suddenly remember the braised sweetbreads languishing in the oven. They dare you to place anything else in front of them except pie and ice cream. So stick the sweetbreads in the freezer. You'll have one less dish to prepare for next time. That is, if you remember them.

* Avoid asking who wants herbal tea. Just because you have half a box of Sleepytime or Camomile doesn't mean you're on the cutting edge. Your guests may be way ahead of you and call for Ginger Peach, or Tension Tamer, or Ginseng Plus. Better stick to Tetley, and don't ask. It's enough that you have both regular and decaffeinated coffee.

* Ready to have guests over? You may actually enjoy it more than you think. Most of all, because next time it will be someone else's turn!