By Alex Berger
A Queens man left his car running while he ran into a store to buy a can of soda. When he returned the car was gone. A few months later, he was riding down Northern Boulevard with his son. He stopped for a red light beside a car similar to his stolen one.
“That's our car,” yelled the son. “It has a St. John’s emblem on the rear window.” The father lowered his window and said, “Look, that is my car you are driving. Get out of the car and no one will get in trouble.” The other driver got out of the car and walked away. The son then entered the car; and father and son drove away in separate cars.
An elderly lady in Florida did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four men in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags, drew her handgun, and proceeded to scream at them at the top of her voice. “I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of my car, you dastardly cads!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran away. The lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags back into her car and got into the driver's seat. She was so unsettled that she couldn’t get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her – wrong car. She got out and found her own parked car five spaces away. She loaded her bags into her car again and drove to the police station.
The sergeant, to whom she told the story, bent over with laughter. He then pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car-jacking by a mad elderly woman, described as white, less than 5 feet tall, wearing glasses, with curly gray hair, and packing a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
Fear of road rage: Elderly husband, driving in traffic, yells to wife holding an M-l rifle, “Sadie, I’m making a left turn. Cover me.”
This is a great candidate for a “No good deed goes unpunished” award: In Phoenix a few years ago, a police car was summoned to free a couple asleep in a car. The windows were closed, the doors were locked, and the motor was idling. Fearful the couple would be harmed by the gas fumes, the cops banged on the glass. The couple could not be roused, so the police broke a window and unlocked the car. Groggily, the couple thanked their heroes.
Two hours later, the couple presented the Phoenix police with a bill for $12.15 to cover the cost of the broken glass. Lawyers advised the police to shut up and pay. And they did.
Why am I writing about what I am writing? This is not a quiz so I will tell you. Gloria and I just completed a wonderful, eight-hour seminar on driver-education given at the Whitestone Library by Bayside's own, and wonderful, Mike Melltonian. Most of the attendees taking the course were there merely to receive a discount on their auto insurance. Of course, Gloria and I had no such monetary motives. We took it to brush up on our driving skills and become better and safer drivers. If our insurance company decides to grant us that discount also, who are we to refuse?
Mike covered the gamut – from “Hazardous Driving Environments” to “The Vehicle” to “Making Safe Driving Decisions.” We thought we knew everything about safe driving but GOSH, did this course open our eyes!
Okay, dear reader, so you think you don’t need to take this course. Well, answer these simple questions:
1. If you are planning to make a left turn across an intersection and you are waiting in the middle of the intersection for a break in oncoming traffic, where should your front tires be turned?
2. What is usually the best method to use when backing up?
3. What do yellow, orange, brown, and green signs designate? (Answers are below.)
I am surprised that nobody signals before making a turn anymore. Not me. I am a stickler for signaling. I was taught a good lesson many years ago. On a cold and dreary winter night, around 11 o’clock, I was alone, driving deep in the heart of Brooklyn, with no other cars in sight. I climbed the ramp to the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, stopped at the stop sign, looked at the empty expressway, and proceeded to enter. Two seconds later, out of nowhere, came a police car with lights flashing and siren blaring. He beckoned me to pull over which I promptly did.
What wrong did I do? Was the officer looking for a stolen car? Did I fit the description of a bank robber? Did he want to know the time? No. He sternly said that I had failed to signal my intention to enter the expressway. “But, Officer,” I stammered “There are no other cars in sight.” “No matter,” he grumbled. “The law says that you must signal at all times.” And so I received a citation. Now I never fail to signal, even when I leave my garage.
But today, not many drivers signal anymore. And the police have stopped giving out summonses. Don’t these drivers and the police realize that failure to signal creates a hazard for other drivers? So, readers, please do Gloria and me a favor and signal. Who knows? One day, we may be driving in back of you. Mike Melltonian, how was that?
Answers: 1. Straight ahead. 2. Steer with one hand, while looking out the rear window. 3. Yellow – Caution; Orange – Roadwork; Brown – Scenic; Green – Destination
Reach Times-Ledger columnist Alex Berger at 718-229-0300, Ext. 139, or aberger3@nyc.rr.com
