By Arlene McKanic
As you can imagine, some sort of tribute to mothers has been going on since ancient times.
But in this country, the idea of an official Mother's Day was first proposed in 1872 by Julia Ward Howe, the lady who wrote the Battle Hymn of the Republic.
Then, in 1907 Ana Jarvis from Philadelphia persuaded her mother's West Virginia church to honor mothers on the second anniversary of her mother's death, which happened to be the second Sunday in May.
In 1914, a few years after mothers won the right to have custody of their kids after a divorce, President Woodrow Wilson, who was known for his diplomatic skills, made Mother's Day a national holiday – officially ushering in decades of guilt.
After a few years of observing various mothers, the writer has come to the conclusion that the best present you can give your mother, aside from the hastily bought card and flowers, is time away from you, your siblings and your father/her husband, who in this day and age isn't necessarily the same person. Do not think this means your mother doesn't love you – she does – but consider the example of Rose Kennedy.
Mrs. Kennedy, who had nine kids, considered herself the manager of a mini corporation and as such deserved vacations now and then. So once in a while she'd pack up and head for Paris where she could blow her husband's money in the salons of Celt Molyneaux and other pricey designers. Her second son, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, did not take kindly to this.
“Some mother you are!” he probably called after her as she proceeded, entirely unmoved, to the waiting limo.
But Rose Kennedy deserved a break, and so does your mother, even if she doesn't go all the way to Paris. Of course, you and your family will finance it.
You might wish to send her to a nice hotel. I would recommend the Sheraton JFK Airport Hotel, right off Baisley Park at 151-20 Baisley Blvd. It's a real gem, one of the borough's best kept secrets. There is room service, free newspaper, hair dryer, ironing and cable TV with in-home movies, as well as someone to change the sheets. Mum may have lunch with her sisters or girlfriends at the Birchwoods Restaurant and Bar, and work out with them at the Fitness Center. There's shuttle service to JFK if she really wants to get away. Call (718) 489-1000 for reservations and information.
The Radisson JFK has just completed a $23 million renovation and is similarly lush. They have the Charles' Restaurant and Grill which offers a breakfast buffet, an Aviators' Lounge if Mum wants a snack, a state of the art health club with all that torturous-looking equipment, and a gift shop. They're at 135-30 140th St. in Jamaica; call (800) 333-3333 for reservations.
Your mother needs a massage. Now, she might not want one because she's squeamish or shy, but she needs one. For those moms who aren't shy, there are several kinds of massages to choose from. You can find Swedish massage in nearly every health club or spa, and then there's Trager, which has two aspects: tablework, where you lie on a table and get a nice painless rub-down, and the more active “Mentastics,” which are simple, self-induced movements that you do on your own. A session lasts from an hour to an hour and a half. There are a few practitioners in the area, including Tony Giordano in Bellport, L.I. (516) 286-8771, Martha Partridge, (212) 358-1083, Steve Buchbinder (718) 230-8150, and Mindy Melemed (718) 625-0270, all in Brooklyn.
Mum can also indulge in reflexology, and if she's brave, rolfing, where they really mash you. Now all of the rolfers, who train from one to two years before they're certified, are in Manhattan, alas. Check out www.rolf.org for their locations.
If she really wants to stay home for the day, your mother will want a maid and a cook. No, she doesn't want you to clean up and cook! She knows how you clean and she doesn't want any more of your burnt toast, even though she's sweet about the whole thing. She wants a professional. Contact New York Maids, Inc., at (866) 696-2437. Call well before Mother's Day because the supervisor might have to come in and check the place out to see how much work has to be done. The maids do everything, including windows (at least the inside), don't mind pets, and are secured and bonded. While you're at it, get a caterer. There are a million of them in the phone book, and it's possible that your favorite restaurant offers catering, but decide in advance what you want served – a good caterer will provide linens, place settings, utensils and such.
If your mother is the outdoors type, there are lots of places in Queens where she can hang out for the day. The Queens Botanical Garden at Flushing Meadows Corona Park is gorgeous this time of year. It's at 43-50 Main St.
Other parks include Alley Pond Park, Cunningham Park and Forest Park (which was stolen from Brooklyn in 1898 and now features the Dixie Dew Stables and a carousel). There's Kissena Park, Riis Park with its boardwalk and killer sunsets, and Astoria Park.
If Mum really wants to rough it, drive her out to the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge on Broad Channel, drop her off and come back in a few hours. You can even do this if the weather's bad. Indeed, the worse the weather is, the better is the refuge.
You and your siblings may also put together a whole lot of money, tuck it into a pink gift certificate, drive her to her favorite mall, turn her loose, then return to pick her up when she's had enough. She may or may not want her friends or sisters to accompany her.
For reading material do get Mum “How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less” by Terry Ryan. It's the story of her brilliant and resourceful mother, who provided for her family by writing jingles.
By the way, Rose Kennedy lived to be 105. Need I say more?
Reach Qguide writer Arlene McKanic by e-mail at timesledgr@aol.com or call 229-0300, ext. 139.
