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Berger’s Burg: Laughter each day keeps the doctor away

By Alex Berger

A man bought an expensive parrot. He carried it home and spoke to it in hopes that the parrot would begin to talk. Each morning the man would pass the cage and cheerfully say, “Good morning, pretty bird. How are you?” The bird refused to respond. It even looked away when it saw the man coming. After many weeks, the man became discouraged. One day, he walked by the cage and didn’t say his usual cheerful greeting. The parrot looked at him and said, “Hey! What is wrong with you this morning?”

Yes, jokes like these are a necessary ingredient for laughter, and laughter is a necessary ingredient for a healthier life. Since Sept. 11, many Americans, including myself, have become depressed. We lost our sense of cheerfulness. This is especially difficult for a “humor” columnist like me.

But despite that horrific event and the other unpleasant world situations, I have learned that it is important to laugh and laugh often. I recently visited a friend convalescing in a hospital. I told him the above joke, among others, and his face lit up instantly. He smiled throughout my visit. Yes, laughter does work miracles.

Marriage counselors and health professionals see laughter as a therapeutic tool. Many of them ask troubled couples whether there is anything about their mates that makes them laugh. If the spouse begins to smile, reconciliation has begun.

This approach, including humor as part of emotional and physical healing, emerged from the 1970s. It has been adopted by many hospitals, therapists, counselors and spiritual leaders, and it is one of the most precious and effective forms of medicine.

Humor and laughter are forms of communication. It is an extraordinary gift we give ourselves and the people around us. It makes us feel better. It really is true that 100 good belly laughs is equal to jogging a mile. I guess I have to find 2,600 jokes to tell my son, Jon, a 26-mile marathon runner.

Research confirms that people who use humor as a coping mechanism will find they are less fatigued, slower to anger and less depressed. This no-cost medicine lowers blood pressure, exercises and relaxes muscles and is good for the cardiovascular system.

Laughter actually releases endorphins which help both the mental and physical processes. It also is a good way to stand back and look in at ourselves. Sometimes we need to laugh at ourselves. There is a story of a man who was able to keep his humor and positive attitude amid very trying circumstances. He told people when he gets up in the morning, he has two choices. He can either be sad about his condition or he can be happy. He chooses to make his day happy. Laughter takes us outside ourselves. Don’t take yourself or your problems as seriously.

Researchers have gathered a wealth of information on ways to make humor and laughter work as a healing tool. Some pointers include: Know your humor style. What makes you laugh? Seek humor. Don’t wait for humor to come to your door. Find something to laugh about or someone to laugh with. Make laughter last. No one says you have to be very sad or stay sad.

Surround yourself with humor. There is happiness to be found somewhere in a day. If you can’t bring that humor to your hospital room, home or office, keep it in your head. Nobody can take away your happiness but you. Of course, laughing does not instantly cure any disease or heal every emotional wound. But, it certainly can change the perspective. With that in mind, I want to leave you with two more stories I hope will have you laughing all day. It worked for me.

The local greeting-card proprietor had a bad day. It began when his alarm didn’t go off. When he tried to turn on the lamp on his nightstand the bulb exploded and scared him. He pulled the cord out of the wall and the lamp fell over and broke. He tried to make a little breakfast when his doorbell rang. It was a whole army of Girl Scouts who were selling cookies. By then his coffee was cold and his eggs were burned.

He gulped down a glass of juice which turned out to be sour. He began to drive to his store in the rain and the car conked out and had to be towed. He looked at his service book and discovered that the warranty had run out. He was forced to take a cab, and a police car sideswiped the taxi. He hit his head on the door handle, but he finally made it to his store. A drenched box was waiting for him on the sidewalk outside his door. He dragged it in, opened the carton, and pulled out a soggy card that read, “Wishing You A Happy Day.” He laughed.

A few months ago, after Sept. 11, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are difficult to fill, and there is a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to one man and one woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely sensitive job. The CIA examiner administrating the test took the man through a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances,” he explained.

“Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.” The shocked man took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes, then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes, and said, “I tried to shoot her, but I just could not pull the trigger.” “Well,” replied the CIA man, “you are definitely not the right man for the job. Take your wife and go home.”

Now they were down to the woman. They led her to the same door and handed her the same gun. “We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. This is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him.” The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door closed, the CIA man heard the gun start firing. One shot after another for thirteen shots. Then they heard screaming, crashing and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes. Then all was quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat him to death with the chair!”

So, keep smiling and I’ll do the same!

Reach columnist Alex Berger by e-mail at timesledger@aol.com or call 229-0300, ext. 140.