All I did was ask Carey how she liked the movie.
“Oh, I loved it!” she said. “Especially when the husband put out a contract on his wife.” “Hold it!” I yelled. “Don’t tell me any more.”
By Muriel Lilker
Please don’t tell me anymore!
All I did was ask Carey how she liked the movie.
“Oh, I loved it!” she said. “Especially when the husband put out a contract on his wife.”
“Hold it!” I yelled. “Don’t tell me any more.”
Even at senior prices, why would I go to a movie when I already know what the husband is up to a half hour before anyone else?
But gabby friends are not the only obstacle when it comes to enjoying movies. You should also look out for the following:
• Do not make movie dates with friends who don’t show up on time. Especially for a movie that has just opened with terrific reviews. While your friends are circling the entire parking lot looking for a space, people from miles away are piling in and taking all the seats. That is, except for the ones in the first row. That’s where you and your friends develop a crick in your neck as you lean back to see the big screen just three feet away
• Stay away from people discussing a movie you’ve looked forward to seeing, but whose ending they don’t understand.
“How come the frogs fell down from the sky?”
“Didn’t anyone realize the police chief was crooked?”
“Why did they have to kill Kevin Spacey?”
• If you do arrive early to get good seats, bring along something to divert you — like darning a sock, filing your nails, or writing a letter to a long-lost cousin in Alaska. Anything is better than the same “diversions” they show you over and over again.
Like the quizzes on movie performers, which you can’t answer even if they didn’t jumble up the names. Or the repeated commercial for the neighborhood real estate firm. Or the pictures of soft drinks, popcorn and candy no farther away than the lobby. The longer they push this, the more dangerously close you are to getting some.
• Be careful about recommending movies to friends whose taste in films doesn’t always agree with yours. That’s when you may be in for such complaints as:
“You know we don’t like movies that take place in a jail.”
“It was way too long. My bad leg started getting numb.”
“Don’t they know what’s-his-name is too old to play romantic leads any more?”
“Why was the mother crying all the time?”
• Remember that not everyone likes foreign films. Especially when they take place in a restaurant.
“How can you read the English titles,” you’ll complain, “when they’re up against a white tablecloth?”
Listen, let’s make a deal. If you see something you think is super, just tell me about it. But don’t count on me to see it. And don’t tell me the ending!
