By Sol Polish
Back in the fifties, Flatbush Avenue around the Loews Kings was home to several stock brokerage houses, Merrill Lynch, Walstons and a few others. For certain characters, these brokerages were steady hangouts. Some came to invest and others came to schmooze just to make small talk. It was the forerunner to the senior center. The day that my wife Lil stopped in to one of the brokerages was the day she became an investor. She bought some 50 shares of VBS stock and was now a regular customer who watched the ticker tape for symbol to pass on the tape. At times it took several minutes to see your symbol and you knew whether you lost or gained. You could not get rich on a small investment but Lil became a part of the regulars who attended daily. Lil sat with some real characters who had much to discuss as they watched the tape. There was, “The Conservative,” Dan, Louie known as Low Life, a name conferred upon Louie by Dan, the conservative, Max who owned loads of RCA stock and upon arriving he always asked, “How’s the market.” There was Minnie who was the fpil for low life. Low Life bugged her with “How’s your GM doing today. I HEARD that you made a bundle again, BUT I also hear that GM lost money this year AND YOUR STOCK IS KAPUT.” “Shut up, you dirty old man. Any man who goes to Staten Island for sex because you have a cheaper prostitute there is a low life just like Dan says.” Low Life unperturbed by Mrs. Klein’s remarks offers her a bet. “I’ll bet you a dime that GM has a down tick next time around.” Mrs. Klien to Low Life, “Drop dead.” Dan now begins to bug low life. “You cheap jerk, you walk here from Canarsie to save the few cents for carfare.” Low life responds, “Look who is talking, a horse player, no wonder you are broke most of the time, so don’t talk if I walk to save money.” Dan responds, “We know that when you say you are taking a cruise, you are taking the Staten Island Ferry to see your call girl. Is she still working for two bucks?” Lennie then interrupts, “Let Low Life alone, he needs the money.” Low Life says,” Thanks Lennie, at least you know that I’m a poor orphan trying to make a living. You guys think I’m stupid. Last year I cleared ten grand while sitting here with you big time players who are all broke most of the time.” Meanwhile Mrs. Goodman who arrives in a chauffeured limo walks in and sits next to Dan. No one says hello to her and she just looks at the tape saying nothing. Dan lights up a cigar and blows smoke at Mrs. Goodman. “ Dan stop that there should be a rule here, no smoking. I can’t stand the smell,” Dan continues to puff away and Mrs. Goodman gets up and walks to the ladies room. On her way back to the seat a roll of toilet tissue drops from under her coat and rolls out on the floor in full view of the guys in front. Mrs. Goodman fully embarrassed continues to exit the building. Low Life says, “Good Riddance.” Meanwhile Dan returns from getting a phone call. “I got some bad news, my wife needs surgery and it costs a thousand dollars which I just lost at Belmont. I need a loan in a hurry.” All of Dan’s good buddies who shared his convictions looked blank. No one offered a dime. Low Life, the cheapskate who walked rather than spend carfare and was Dan’s patsy for jokes and putdowns opened his checkbook and wrote Dan a check for the one thousand dollars. Dan thanked Low Life and said it was a one grand gesture from a real friend. When Lil told me that story, I joined her watching the tape at the brokerage and in time we became good customers there. The best thing about going there was the company of a bunch of odd characters.
