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Berger’s Burg

By Alex Berger

A mother said, “Get up, son. It's time for graduation.” He answered, “I don't want to go. The kids are mean and they threaten me with spitballs.” “You must go.” “Why?” “Because you're the dean!”

It is June and graduations are in bloom. They have sprouted in kindergartens, elementary schools, middle schools and colleges over the land. Graduates are breathing sighs of relief now that they have completed an important stage of their lives.

I still remember my graduations. In kindergarten, I was not allowed to approach the cake table until the principal finished pontificating about the need for little me to make the world a better place. I must have done a good job because at the conclusion of the ceremony, the world did become a better place: I was given a Mallomar.

Nowadays, when a speaker tells graduates the future is theirs, is that a promise or threat?