Today’s news:

Night out reveals disturbing truth

On a recent Saturday night, my wife and I attended a bar mitzvah at a Long Island restaurant. Our table seating card read Table No. 2, where we were seated with a bunch of strangers including curmudgeons, merry widows and a pair of married folks who looked like they were in their late 50s — about our age.

As there was no prime rib as I had hoped to order, I opted for the salmon filet over the chicken marsala. I am trying to incorporate more fish in my diet — one of my few healthier habits.

Our salad was a plate of leaves: red, green and maroon. I do not eat leaves. What am I, a giraffe? Only twigs and ladybugs were missing from my plate. Why not just serve me a bonzai tree so I could dig in?

As I guzzled some red wine — more healthy food — after joining hands doing a hora and hokey-pokeying, the music the disc jockey played for the rest of the evening was unrecognizable to me. My wife knew Lady Gaga and The Black Eyed Peas. Yes, I had heard of them from the recent Grammys.

But no Beatles, Stones, The Who — even the Back Street Boys are old stuff now. The traditional Village People’s “YMCA” was never played. The party had mostly children attending. I counted three adult tables. Still, I thought some music from my generation would have been appropriate.

There were unfortunately no grandparents of the bar mitzvah boy alive today and no great aunts or uncles either from what I observed. Where were the elderly folks? People at my table looked older than me though their kids were in elementary or middle school. Our daughter, unable to attend this gala event, is a junior at an upstate New York university.

Suddenly, the frightening, horrific reality hit me. There was an old folks table and I was sitting at it! That had to be a mistake. What was going on? I must have been at the wrong table. I was not even offered chicken nuggets or spaghetti. I cannot believe I enjoyed the salmon.

Mark Lane

Little Neck

Pin It
Print this story Permalink

Reader Feedback

Enter your comment below

By submitting this comment, you agree to the following terms:

You agree that you, and not or its affiliates, are fully responsible for the content that you post. You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening or sexually-oriented material or any material that may violate applicable law; doing so may lead to the removal of your post and to your being permanently banned from posting to the site. You grant to the royalty-free, irrevocable, perpetual and fully sublicensable license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform and display such content in whole or in part world-wide and to incorporate it in other works in any form, media or technology now known or later developed.

CNG: Community Newspaper Group